So, I'm on my way back from a pleasant 2 days up at Anna's house in Columbus... and on the way home we start realizing that every freaking text scroll sign on the side of the freeway is telling us to "Click it or ticket". Now, as usual Anna and I were already carrying on a conversation about things we hate about society, and so that's where this comes in.
I wonder, how many MILLIONS of dollars the federal government has spent on radio, tv, signs, and increased highway patrol to try to get some idiot who has no concept of self-preservation to put on his damn seat belt. Now, I am an avid believer in natural selection (as some of you may know), and I just can't believe that this is a valuable use of our tax dollars. How about giving up on these idiots who aren't wearing seatbelts and fund the damn schools to teach their children how to grow up and NOT be like their parents? Sound like a plan? Anyway, the whole concept of passing more safety laws is personally disgusting to me. People should be able to deal with the responsibility of keeping themselves alive, and if they can't handle that small responsibility? Well, then maybe they really shouldn't have us keeping them from their destiny.
Remember those who fell for my right to print this today.
Monday, May 30, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Another consumer report...
Back to what I do best...
Who falls for these text message scams that are currently being advertised on tv, radio and anywhere that there's a hard surface to write on? There's all kinds of em too! And I wonder how they get away with it...
1) Ringtones and wallpapers
Alright, do you really think that anyone is going to put up money to advertise on tv so that they can GIVE you FREE ringtones? Are you mildly retarded? I don't care how much you want "Goodies" to be your ringtone, it's not worth the $5.00 a month that all these services are going to charge to your phone bill without your "permission". Just do a little research with these new inventions they call "a computer" and "the internet" and you can find out how to get any damn ringtone you want for free.
2) Text message skanks
So you want to pay $1.99 for each sent or received text message from Jenna Jameson eh? As little faith as I have in humanity, even I am shocked that there is a demand for this. These are ALL over the place now. They always try to be real cute too, like you're not signing up for a dirty message service, but instead a "flirting service". Just text "FLIRT" to 66666! They have ads in the back of FHM that look just like the phone sex ads in the back of Hustler... so I'm told. Anyway, what the hell makes you think that the humanoid text messaging you is going to look anything like the girls in the advertisements? I can tell you right now what the person on the other end is going to look like... slowly walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror. Whatever you see, that's similar to how the person on the other end is going to look... late 20's, overweight and most likely sporting a penis.
and my favorite
3) text message popularity
For those of you who don't know... you can now pay a nominal fee so that someone will text you and pretend to be your friend, thus making you appear to be popular and well-liked. Nothing could be further than the truth. The people that enroll in this service could quite possibly be the only people on earth more lonely and pathetic than the ones that get the sex messages. Now I know what you're saying... there's a direct overlap! Yeah, maybe a little... but this is a completely different clientele than the Text Johns. The purveyors of text hookery are perverts just like you or I, but taken to an extreme. They are slightly less attractive than us, shy, and don't talk to girls all that well, so they turn to porn, cybersex, phone sex, and eventually text sex. Oh no no no... the popularity text messenger is a different beast all together. This guy is a complete sociopath. The kind of guy that if you heard he killed a family of four and had sex with their dog, you wouldn't really be surprised. This guy is so desperate to prove to those around him that he is well liked, he'll be fielding 20 texts every 1/2 hour for the whole 4 hours he works at McDonald's each day.
It's hard to create a heirarchy of losers and distinguish which participants of these services are the dumbest... but I think I have it figured out...
The ringtone texters and by far the dumbest and are currently disappointing their families
The sex texters are gullible, but not dumb. They will obtain their degree in Information Technology from the DeVry Institute and go on to a life of loneliness
and at last the Popularity texters are maniacal sociopaths and will be seen in the 8-10 block on Fox Saturdays in the very near future.
If you are in any of these groups, I feel terribly sorry for you. I also really hope that you don't know where I live.
Til next time...
Who falls for these text message scams that are currently being advertised on tv, radio and anywhere that there's a hard surface to write on? There's all kinds of em too! And I wonder how they get away with it...
1) Ringtones and wallpapers
Alright, do you really think that anyone is going to put up money to advertise on tv so that they can GIVE you FREE ringtones? Are you mildly retarded? I don't care how much you want "Goodies" to be your ringtone, it's not worth the $5.00 a month that all these services are going to charge to your phone bill without your "permission". Just do a little research with these new inventions they call "a computer" and "the internet" and you can find out how to get any damn ringtone you want for free.
2) Text message skanks
So you want to pay $1.99 for each sent or received text message from Jenna Jameson eh? As little faith as I have in humanity, even I am shocked that there is a demand for this. These are ALL over the place now. They always try to be real cute too, like you're not signing up for a dirty message service, but instead a "flirting service". Just text "FLIRT" to 66666! They have ads in the back of FHM that look just like the phone sex ads in the back of Hustler... so I'm told. Anyway, what the hell makes you think that the humanoid text messaging you is going to look anything like the girls in the advertisements? I can tell you right now what the person on the other end is going to look like... slowly walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror. Whatever you see, that's similar to how the person on the other end is going to look... late 20's, overweight and most likely sporting a penis.
and my favorite
3) text message popularity
For those of you who don't know... you can now pay a nominal fee so that someone will text you and pretend to be your friend, thus making you appear to be popular and well-liked. Nothing could be further than the truth. The people that enroll in this service could quite possibly be the only people on earth more lonely and pathetic than the ones that get the sex messages. Now I know what you're saying... there's a direct overlap! Yeah, maybe a little... but this is a completely different clientele than the Text Johns. The purveyors of text hookery are perverts just like you or I, but taken to an extreme. They are slightly less attractive than us, shy, and don't talk to girls all that well, so they turn to porn, cybersex, phone sex, and eventually text sex. Oh no no no... the popularity text messenger is a different beast all together. This guy is a complete sociopath. The kind of guy that if you heard he killed a family of four and had sex with their dog, you wouldn't really be surprised. This guy is so desperate to prove to those around him that he is well liked, he'll be fielding 20 texts every 1/2 hour for the whole 4 hours he works at McDonald's each day.
It's hard to create a heirarchy of losers and distinguish which participants of these services are the dumbest... but I think I have it figured out...
The ringtone texters and by far the dumbest and are currently disappointing their families
The sex texters are gullible, but not dumb. They will obtain their degree in Information Technology from the DeVry Institute and go on to a life of loneliness
and at last the Popularity texters are maniacal sociopaths and will be seen in the 8-10 block on Fox Saturdays in the very near future.
If you are in any of these groups, I feel terribly sorry for you. I also really hope that you don't know where I live.
Til next time...
Sick today...and gambling.
Well, today I woke up and I was sick... I was in the bathroom for about 25% of the day today. I think I lost about 10 pounds of crap that was lingering in my lower large intestine. As a matter of fact, after I finish this post I am going to go again. On the good side though, I definitely caught up on my sleep today as a result of not going into work. I don't want to turn this into a journal though so I need to come up with some useful information to tell you.
To all of those who don't know I went to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. Let me tell anyone who's never been, just burn your money, it'll accomplish the same feat quicker and more efficiently. I must say, it was quite a bit of fun, but if you're expecting to go to Vegas and not get caught up and lose all (or almost all) of your money then you are sorely mistaken. They don't pay the light bill by letting people walk home with their money.
On a related note, the lines for the first week of the NFL football season came out today, so degenerates, start your engines! Of course, this does apply to me to a small extent, as I will be sure to put up at least 100 bucks over the course of the season. I mean, c'mon it's 4 months away... anyone putting up a bet at this point is either a) getting tips from the other side or b) just plain stupid. So much can happen in between now and August. Injuries, holdouts, and Butch Davis can happen to any team, save your money until the week of, ok guys?
Take it easy
To all of those who don't know I went to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. Let me tell anyone who's never been, just burn your money, it'll accomplish the same feat quicker and more efficiently. I must say, it was quite a bit of fun, but if you're expecting to go to Vegas and not get caught up and lose all (or almost all) of your money then you are sorely mistaken. They don't pay the light bill by letting people walk home with their money.
On a related note, the lines for the first week of the NFL football season came out today, so degenerates, start your engines! Of course, this does apply to me to a small extent, as I will be sure to put up at least 100 bucks over the course of the season. I mean, c'mon it's 4 months away... anyone putting up a bet at this point is either a) getting tips from the other side or b) just plain stupid. So much can happen in between now and August. Injuries, holdouts, and Butch Davis can happen to any team, save your money until the week of, ok guys?
Take it easy
Thursday, May 26, 2005
2nd post today...
Right now I am sitting in the dank basement of one of the buildings at Miami, waiting for Windows System Pack 2 to install on a computer. For those of you who don't know me, this is pretty much my job. Sit around and wait for computers to get done doing what I'm telling them to do. Normally I would be on Yahoo! playing Spades right now, or my other favorite online game "TyperShark", but I decided that there have been a lot of things that I haven't burned on lately on here, and I should bring you up to speed.
I fixed my internet. Time-warner still sucks, but now I can be mad at a faulty cable wire instead of them. By the way, the cable wire was cut and installed by them.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith kicks ass. Probably the 3rd best Star Wars movie made, and that's saying that it beat one of the originals... which one I don't know... it's a tough one.
I start my job at Xtend computers on Tuesday which will mean that I will be working 3 jobs. Thank God the hours there overlap with Miami though so that I can work 60 hours a week instead of 80.
Facebook pisses me off.
There are few things that are more relaxing than rubbin' one out and droppin' a deuce consecutively (or in tandem).
That's all for now... everything else is saved for another day.
Deuces
I fixed my internet. Time-warner still sucks, but now I can be mad at a faulty cable wire instead of them. By the way, the cable wire was cut and installed by them.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith kicks ass. Probably the 3rd best Star Wars movie made, and that's saying that it beat one of the originals... which one I don't know... it's a tough one.
I start my job at Xtend computers on Tuesday which will mean that I will be working 3 jobs. Thank God the hours there overlap with Miami though so that I can work 60 hours a week instead of 80.
Facebook pisses me off.
There are few things that are more relaxing than rubbin' one out and droppin' a deuce consecutively (or in tandem).
That's all for now... everything else is saved for another day.
Deuces
Sales pitch for the Ultimate Fighter Season 2
For those of you who don't really know anything about the UFC, I have a question for you: Have you been living under a rock?? Anyway, this past spring there was a reality show on Spike TV called the ultimate fighter in which 12 of the top mixed-martial arts competitors went head to head weekly until there was finally only one in each weight class.
Mixed martial arts is a relatively new concept in which fighters from all different backgrounds and disciplines compete against one another. Jiu-Jitsu, Muai Thai, Freestyle Wrestling, Boxing, Karate, and straight up bar-room brawling all compete to try to knock each other out or force the other guy to submit using joint manipulation or choke holds.
If you haven't seen it, you need to. It is rising quickly in the world of sports and will soon (mark my words) be more popular than boxing. This sport could even destroy boxing as we know it in the US and totally replace it altogether.
Anyway, check it out this fall on Spike Tv. If they keep the same timeslot you can see it at 11:05 on Mondays, but that is still to be seen. Check your local listings. And for those of you who are interested in being on the show, taping will start in June, and they are having a casting call in New York City at the Renzo Gracie school of Jiu-jitsu soon. Go to ultimatefighter.tv to find out more and sign up.
If you watch one and you're not hooked, you may want to seriously reconsider your sexual preference.
arrivederci
Mixed martial arts is a relatively new concept in which fighters from all different backgrounds and disciplines compete against one another. Jiu-Jitsu, Muai Thai, Freestyle Wrestling, Boxing, Karate, and straight up bar-room brawling all compete to try to knock each other out or force the other guy to submit using joint manipulation or choke holds.
If you haven't seen it, you need to. It is rising quickly in the world of sports and will soon (mark my words) be more popular than boxing. This sport could even destroy boxing as we know it in the US and totally replace it altogether.
Anyway, check it out this fall on Spike Tv. If they keep the same timeslot you can see it at 11:05 on Mondays, but that is still to be seen. Check your local listings. And for those of you who are interested in being on the show, taping will start in June, and they are having a casting call in New York City at the Renzo Gracie school of Jiu-jitsu soon. Go to ultimatefighter.tv to find out more and sign up.
If you watch one and you're not hooked, you may want to seriously reconsider your sexual preference.
arrivederci
Monday, May 23, 2005
Scopes Monkey Trial... best name ever.
It amazes me sometimes how many people have their head up their ass sometimes.
Courts all over the country right now are debating the validity of evolutionary theory. How are we still on this? No doubt that much more research needs to be done in this field, because as all great scientists know, you can't have TOO MUCH evidence for any theory. Have you ever wondered why there are so few scientific laws? The reason is because in order to make something a law it has to be proven by evidence under any circumstance. Now, if you're talking about an apple falling from a tree, whether it's here on earth or on the moon, you can witness laws of gravity taking place to one degree or another. The experiment is short and can be repeated rapidly. Evolution on the other hand takes millions of years and thus is much harder to repeat and thus prove.
But nonetheless it is widely accepted by most reasonable people.
But there are some doubters. Now listen, I'm all for questioning the status quo, but if you're going to question a scientific theory, you better have some better alternative than a religious belief. Saying that evolution should not be taught in schools, while in the same breath saying that creationism should is like saying that "all these methods of preserving food are overrated; it was much better when we were all dying from food-borne illness". That's a real sound fundamentalist judgement. These are the same people who are against researching space and against stem-cell research. They want everything to stay the same. Until they get paralyzed and go to the doctor. Then they want ACTION! I would love to see all these freaking bastards who are against stem cell research to come down with an acute case of Parkinson's, or fall off a horse and paralyze themselves.
Way off the subject.
Anyway, the fact that this is even getting court time 80 years after the first time it was defended in court should be indicative of the way this country, and world is going. I hate to be a pessimist, and even more I hate to be dramatic, but to all those thinkers, to all those scientists, pack it in because we're all going away. Human kind is not long for this world. Relatively speaking of course...
But don't worry, some other species will rise up and become the domineers of the planet, and eventually go through the same ordeal. If you want an accurate representation of how everything in the world works just read a greek tragedy. 5 acts: Act 1(Introduction) - Evolution into homo sapien, Act 2(buildup) Man learns to build & use tools, Act 3(Conflict) Invention of religion, Act 4(buildup to climax) Wars rage over religion, Act 5(climax) Wars all but wipe out species.
We'll be gone, but don't be sad, it probably won't happen in our lifetime. It happens to every living being from plants to mammals to the stars themselves... they all get 5 acts in this universe.
Mahalo
Courts all over the country right now are debating the validity of evolutionary theory. How are we still on this? No doubt that much more research needs to be done in this field, because as all great scientists know, you can't have TOO MUCH evidence for any theory. Have you ever wondered why there are so few scientific laws? The reason is because in order to make something a law it has to be proven by evidence under any circumstance. Now, if you're talking about an apple falling from a tree, whether it's here on earth or on the moon, you can witness laws of gravity taking place to one degree or another. The experiment is short and can be repeated rapidly. Evolution on the other hand takes millions of years and thus is much harder to repeat and thus prove.
But nonetheless it is widely accepted by most reasonable people.
But there are some doubters. Now listen, I'm all for questioning the status quo, but if you're going to question a scientific theory, you better have some better alternative than a religious belief. Saying that evolution should not be taught in schools, while in the same breath saying that creationism should is like saying that "all these methods of preserving food are overrated; it was much better when we were all dying from food-borne illness". That's a real sound fundamentalist judgement. These are the same people who are against researching space and against stem-cell research. They want everything to stay the same. Until they get paralyzed and go to the doctor. Then they want ACTION! I would love to see all these freaking bastards who are against stem cell research to come down with an acute case of Parkinson's, or fall off a horse and paralyze themselves.
Way off the subject.
Anyway, the fact that this is even getting court time 80 years after the first time it was defended in court should be indicative of the way this country, and world is going. I hate to be a pessimist, and even more I hate to be dramatic, but to all those thinkers, to all those scientists, pack it in because we're all going away. Human kind is not long for this world. Relatively speaking of course...
But don't worry, some other species will rise up and become the domineers of the planet, and eventually go through the same ordeal. If you want an accurate representation of how everything in the world works just read a greek tragedy. 5 acts: Act 1(Introduction) - Evolution into homo sapien, Act 2(buildup) Man learns to build & use tools, Act 3(Conflict) Invention of religion, Act 4(buildup to climax) Wars rage over religion, Act 5(climax) Wars all but wipe out species.
We'll be gone, but don't be sad, it probably won't happen in our lifetime. It happens to every living being from plants to mammals to the stars themselves... they all get 5 acts in this universe.
Mahalo
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Post #2
I couldn't think of any better title than post #2 for this... this time I have some consumer info to share with all of you. FUCK Time-Warner cable. It sucks my balls. These idiotic bastards screw people for all they're worth and then don't provide the service that they claim to.
Their customer service is awful, you're lucky if you even get to talk to someone.
I had digital cable last year with a DVR, and I was lucky if the DVR worked for 3 solid months out of 9.
And now of course the Roadrunner service. The Roadrunner is so terrible at this point that it's almost not even worth getting on the computer. Dial-up service is more reliable. When it works at all, it works very slowly, and that's only about 25% of the time.
Ok, enough of that, you get the point. As well as providing you with useful information to improve your lives, I also am doing this to tell you about myself. I don't really know why I am because I'm sort of a private person, but I'll give it a shot.
I started running again today. I looked at myself in the mirror last night and was disgusted with the amount of fat on my body. I never used to be this bad out of shape. Oh well, it really doesn't take me that long to get back into shape so I should be fine. Without clocking it off with an odometer I would say that I ran about 2 miles. I feel good. I was running at the beginning of May, everyday for about 2 1/2 weeks but I just sort of quit. At that point I was up to 3 miles, but today I ran at a quick and steady pace the entire distance, so I feel pretty good about it. Well, this is running a little long so I guess I'll cut and run. I have to go to Outback in about 3 hours *ugh* Bye to all, and may the forces of evil become confused and lost on the way to your domicile.
Their customer service is awful, you're lucky if you even get to talk to someone.
I had digital cable last year with a DVR, and I was lucky if the DVR worked for 3 solid months out of 9.
And now of course the Roadrunner service. The Roadrunner is so terrible at this point that it's almost not even worth getting on the computer. Dial-up service is more reliable. When it works at all, it works very slowly, and that's only about 25% of the time.
Ok, enough of that, you get the point. As well as providing you with useful information to improve your lives, I also am doing this to tell you about myself. I don't really know why I am because I'm sort of a private person, but I'll give it a shot.
I started running again today. I looked at myself in the mirror last night and was disgusted with the amount of fat on my body. I never used to be this bad out of shape. Oh well, it really doesn't take me that long to get back into shape so I should be fine. Without clocking it off with an odometer I would say that I ran about 2 miles. I feel good. I was running at the beginning of May, everyday for about 2 1/2 weeks but I just sort of quit. At that point I was up to 3 miles, but today I ran at a quick and steady pace the entire distance, so I feel pretty good about it. Well, this is running a little long so I guess I'll cut and run. I have to go to Outback in about 3 hours *ugh* Bye to all, and may the forces of evil become confused and lost on the way to your domicile.
Friday, May 20, 2005
First Post
Well, here it is, my first post on my blog. I really wonder who has time to read these things. To me, it would be cool if someone reads my thoughts on a daily basis, but I'm not counting on it. I'm sure that I won't even be able to get my girlfriend to read this on a daily (or maybe even weekly) basis. She certainly wouldn't sit still to listen to me blather on if we were having a verbal conversation, so I don't see why she (or anyone else) would read this. Mainly it's for me, just a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings. It's sorta like a gay-ass journal, but even worse, because it's on the internet it's a dorky, gay-ass journal. Anyway, if anyone actually reads this, feel free to comment, enjoy yourself, and welcome to the gay-ass dork club!
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