I've just been attacked on the streets of Oxford!
I'm walking from Shriver over to the office which is home base for me, and all the sudden this girl who was pretty cute other than the herpe on her lip and the id in her pocket which probably would have said that I would be going to jail if I thought about it, came over to me and introduced herself.
I could tell right away this was something I didn't want be involved in
3 of her greasy (and I mean greasy, you could actually fry bacon on their foreheads) friends came over and asked me if they could give me a survey.... knowing that I was on the clock and really had nothing better to do I said sure.
She then asked me how many of the ten commandments I could name. I told her probably 8 of them. Shocking myself a bit, and them even more, I was able to name all 10 commandments. From the looks on their faces, you could tell that in their previous accostings of people, the general public probably averaged about 4-5.
They then asked me how many I could break and still get into heaven. I responded, well, I don't necessarily believe in a heaven the same as you do, and then the questions came...
Apparently, there's this guy name Jesus, and he loves me very much.... in a hetero way. I proceeded to question their beliefs, and actually ended up turning the brainwashing session AROUND! I started to tell them about how if you think for yourself, you don't need to have all the answers about Jesus, and the afterlife, but you're just satisfied with being, rather than always looking for the next thing.
They didn't really seem to understand on the whole, but that's to be expected. When you're indoctrinated into beliving that there is a omnipotent being watching and listening to everything you say, you're really careful about what you let into your head.
They asked me how many commandments I've broken, and I can honestly say I have broken 8, maybe 9 of them (depending on your interpretation). I was pretty proud... almost a perfect 10! Although it probably would be smart to not break that last one. Although now that I think about it.... I never have really created any graven images... I don't create much, except for what comes out the back end of me, and I'm not worshiping that.
So I'm 8 for 10: B-
It's still better than I do in school.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Twenty-two
Here on the eve of my twenty-second birthday I sit and ponder the years that have gone by. I think about the good decisions and situations, and then sometimes wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?"
Good decisions:
1) Returning to Miami - after a jaunt over to Youngstown State and Kent Ashtabula, I decided that Miami would be for me what I would make of it, and this time I was going to make it good.
2) ....
The problem with good decisions, is that most good decisions go unnoticed. The bad ones are much easier to spot.
Bad decisions:
1) Too much consideration for girls - Throughout my life, I have been haunted by mistakes that I have made when dealing with the fairer sex. I don't know why I do the things I do/did for girls, but I never really seem to learn.
2) The two-week engagement - Obviously the biggest mistake of my life. Terribly embarrassing, but all in all, I came out of it smelling pretty good, considering what could have happened.
3) Trying to take an on-ramp at 80 in the rain the night before I left for Miami - Broke my Ballsman Buick, and although Kurt and I both put lots of time and energy into it, it was never the same. We got it running again for about a day or two, and then it died for good.
4) Not putting enough effort into school - This one has hurt me in more ways than I can count. Not too much to say about it, other than I'm trying to learn from my mistakes.
I realize that this is a boring post, so I'm going to post another one after this. Most people may not understand most of the references in the next one, so to you people I will say, check back some other time.
Thanks
Good decisions:
1) Returning to Miami - after a jaunt over to Youngstown State and Kent Ashtabula, I decided that Miami would be for me what I would make of it, and this time I was going to make it good.
2) ....
The problem with good decisions, is that most good decisions go unnoticed. The bad ones are much easier to spot.
Bad decisions:
1) Too much consideration for girls - Throughout my life, I have been haunted by mistakes that I have made when dealing with the fairer sex. I don't know why I do the things I do/did for girls, but I never really seem to learn.
2) The two-week engagement - Obviously the biggest mistake of my life. Terribly embarrassing, but all in all, I came out of it smelling pretty good, considering what could have happened.
3) Trying to take an on-ramp at 80 in the rain the night before I left for Miami - Broke my Ballsman Buick, and although Kurt and I both put lots of time and energy into it, it was never the same. We got it running again for about a day or two, and then it died for good.
4) Not putting enough effort into school - This one has hurt me in more ways than I can count. Not too much to say about it, other than I'm trying to learn from my mistakes.
I realize that this is a boring post, so I'm going to post another one after this. Most people may not understand most of the references in the next one, so to you people I will say, check back some other time.
Thanks
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Obligatory post
This is exactly the kind of post I wanted to avoid when I started this thing....
But what are you going to do?
I have been thinking a lot lately about my direction in life, and how much it sucks. Throughout the past month or so, I have been given a lot of advice from the 3 most successful male influences in my life (my brother, my dad, and my girlfriend's dad) and some of it has really clicked with me. I guess over the course of the past 2 years or so, I've pretty much been waiting for life to come to me, waiting for something to happen that will propel me to where I want to be in this world. Because of that, I have been overall not myself, and not very happy.
I have learned a couple of lessons
1) It's better to make a wrong decision then not make a decision at all.
You would think that this would be a given, but the way that I've been living my life is such that, I have never made a decision about a direction I wanted to go, because I was afraid that I would later change my mind. As Paul told me: "When you choose something to do, do it to the best of your ability, until you find another direction that you want to go in; then, do that to the best of your ability. I don't really know that I've ever done anything to the best of my ability. Not even baseball... in high school I loved playing baseball, but outside of practice and leisurely games in the front yard, I never put in the extra time and totally committed myself. It's sort of a disappointing realization to come to.
2) Make your own choices, because no one is going to make a good one for you.
I was going to write that no one would make your choices for you, but I realized that there are a lot of people in this world that want to make your choices for you, they're just always bad choices.
I have to admit, after writing this down I feel slightly more depressed... that was pretty unexpected. But, that doesn't change the fact that when I go back to school in the fall, I am going to.... oh, screw it. You'll see it when it happens.
Hey kids rock n roll, rock on.
But what are you going to do?
I have been thinking a lot lately about my direction in life, and how much it sucks. Throughout the past month or so, I have been given a lot of advice from the 3 most successful male influences in my life (my brother, my dad, and my girlfriend's dad) and some of it has really clicked with me. I guess over the course of the past 2 years or so, I've pretty much been waiting for life to come to me, waiting for something to happen that will propel me to where I want to be in this world. Because of that, I have been overall not myself, and not very happy.
I have learned a couple of lessons
1) It's better to make a wrong decision then not make a decision at all.
You would think that this would be a given, but the way that I've been living my life is such that, I have never made a decision about a direction I wanted to go, because I was afraid that I would later change my mind. As Paul told me: "When you choose something to do, do it to the best of your ability, until you find another direction that you want to go in; then, do that to the best of your ability. I don't really know that I've ever done anything to the best of my ability. Not even baseball... in high school I loved playing baseball, but outside of practice and leisurely games in the front yard, I never put in the extra time and totally committed myself. It's sort of a disappointing realization to come to.
2) Make your own choices, because no one is going to make a good one for you.
I was going to write that no one would make your choices for you, but I realized that there are a lot of people in this world that want to make your choices for you, they're just always bad choices.
I have to admit, after writing this down I feel slightly more depressed... that was pretty unexpected. But, that doesn't change the fact that when I go back to school in the fall, I am going to.... oh, screw it. You'll see it when it happens.
Hey kids rock n roll, rock on.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Disgusting!
On my way walking across campus today, I got a wet feeling in my mouth. My salivary glands were producing more spit than I could use at that particular moment in time. I have to confess, I did something repulsive. I did something so repugnant and foul that I should be castrated by a rusty fender from a '79 ElDorado....
I spit on the ground.
People make me sick. The other day I saw some bitch look at a spot on the ground where someone had spit and say: "EWWw, that's disgusting!" She actually went to the trouble to acknowledge a wet mark on the ground (by the way it had also RAINED that day).
Sometimes you want to hit people in the head with your massive penis, and say: "Hey slut, does your shit not stink? Quit whining!" Maybe these people need a little reminder that every day or so they dump about 3 lbs of solid human waste out of themselves and eventually that ends up "on the ground". I don't know about you, but shit and piss ranks a little higher than spit on my scale of grossness.
Animals crap all over the ground! This is probably the same person who won't clean up her dog's feces because she thinks it's gross... oh yeah? Well your yard smells like a freaking port-o-john. Get over yourself and stop trying to act as though everyone else is disgusting and you're just some delicate flower.
These are the people that are slipping through the cracks of natural selection with all this intervention from the government. Nature should have killed everone like this off a long time before they could even articulate the word "gross", but with us meddling in everything and playing God all the time, she gets to live at the expense of the rest of us.
He's not really suggesting that she die because she doesn't like spit is he?? YES HE IS.
Gravitas.
I spit on the ground.
People make me sick. The other day I saw some bitch look at a spot on the ground where someone had spit and say: "EWWw, that's disgusting!" She actually went to the trouble to acknowledge a wet mark on the ground (by the way it had also RAINED that day).
Sometimes you want to hit people in the head with your massive penis, and say: "Hey slut, does your shit not stink? Quit whining!" Maybe these people need a little reminder that every day or so they dump about 3 lbs of solid human waste out of themselves and eventually that ends up "on the ground". I don't know about you, but shit and piss ranks a little higher than spit on my scale of grossness.
Animals crap all over the ground! This is probably the same person who won't clean up her dog's feces because she thinks it's gross... oh yeah? Well your yard smells like a freaking port-o-john. Get over yourself and stop trying to act as though everyone else is disgusting and you're just some delicate flower.
These are the people that are slipping through the cracks of natural selection with all this intervention from the government. Nature should have killed everone like this off a long time before they could even articulate the word "gross", but with us meddling in everything and playing God all the time, she gets to live at the expense of the rest of us.
He's not really suggesting that she die because she doesn't like spit is he?? YES HE IS.
Gravitas.
Friday, June 10, 2005
ha... FAG!
While in the process of dropping a deuce in a bathroom down the hall from where I am working, I noticed that there is a written arguement taking place on the walls of the stall. What was this arguement about do you ask? Well, according to the archaelogical evidence left on the walls, it would seem that frat guys are gay. It also seems that homosexual men DO after all use the same bathroom as the rest of us, and think that we are all homophobes. Now of course, I infer that "we" means the people calling other people gay on the bathroom walls.
This all got me to thinking of course.
There are often people that argue that you should not use the adjective "gay" figuratively to refer to something that isn't homosexual, but rather stupid. Now, as someone who in the past and currently refer to stupid things as "REALLY GAY", I may have a biased outlook on the subject, but believe me, before I tackle an issue I always try to see the other side of the coin.
The arguement is, that if you refer to something (or someone) who is stupid, inefficient, or just simply not right as gay; then by saying that, you are saying that gay = stupid, etc. I have to call this logic into question. Just becuase you are using an adjective in a different way than it is meant to be used, it doesn't mean that you are a homophobe.... it just means that you're black and you are on the cutting edge of slang. "Tight" never felt so right before it was used to describe something cool... lol (I really did just laugh at myself). Listen, people take certain liberties with this English language that we speak, and one of the great things about the language is that no matter what was grammatically correct 2 minutes ago, now "hizzy" is a viable noun used to describe ones domicile... and we all understand that.
As a matter of fact, speaking of grammatically correct, this rant is an English teacher's nightmare. This has more run-on sentences than Courtney Love at a custody hearing while on barbituates..... maybe not that much.
I lose focus easily
Here is my arguement, which completely negates EVERY other argument. When people call someone gay, or refer to something as gay, they are not trying to insult gay people. They are trying to insult the person they are talking to. Gay people (and straight people for that matter) that get offended by someone's choice of words, need to stop being so self-involved and self-centered and realize that not everything that is said by everyone pertains to you specifically.
If I was to call someone gay, it would be someone who has a severe insecurity about their sexuality, and it would be a great insult in that case then, wouldn't it? When you're insulting someone you want to call them a name that THEY would take the most offense to personally. Now, i don't have a problem with gay people, gay people don't have a problem with gay people, the only person that does have a problem is the person I just tried to insult. It a hard point to convey, but I hope you're following me.
Basic point: Don't worry about the slang, the more you try to control it, the more out of hand it gets. If you want it to end, just get lame, white, 40 year olds to start saying it in commercials.
Sorry this was hard to follow... it just sort of mutated this time...
Have a great weekend
This all got me to thinking of course.
There are often people that argue that you should not use the adjective "gay" figuratively to refer to something that isn't homosexual, but rather stupid. Now, as someone who in the past and currently refer to stupid things as "REALLY GAY", I may have a biased outlook on the subject, but believe me, before I tackle an issue I always try to see the other side of the coin.
The arguement is, that if you refer to something (or someone) who is stupid, inefficient, or just simply not right as gay; then by saying that, you are saying that gay = stupid, etc. I have to call this logic into question. Just becuase you are using an adjective in a different way than it is meant to be used, it doesn't mean that you are a homophobe.... it just means that you're black and you are on the cutting edge of slang. "Tight" never felt so right before it was used to describe something cool... lol (I really did just laugh at myself). Listen, people take certain liberties with this English language that we speak, and one of the great things about the language is that no matter what was grammatically correct 2 minutes ago, now "hizzy" is a viable noun used to describe ones domicile... and we all understand that.
As a matter of fact, speaking of grammatically correct, this rant is an English teacher's nightmare. This has more run-on sentences than Courtney Love at a custody hearing while on barbituates..... maybe not that much.
I lose focus easily
Here is my arguement, which completely negates EVERY other argument. When people call someone gay, or refer to something as gay, they are not trying to insult gay people. They are trying to insult the person they are talking to. Gay people (and straight people for that matter) that get offended by someone's choice of words, need to stop being so self-involved and self-centered and realize that not everything that is said by everyone pertains to you specifically.
If I was to call someone gay, it would be someone who has a severe insecurity about their sexuality, and it would be a great insult in that case then, wouldn't it? When you're insulting someone you want to call them a name that THEY would take the most offense to personally. Now, i don't have a problem with gay people, gay people don't have a problem with gay people, the only person that does have a problem is the person I just tried to insult. It a hard point to convey, but I hope you're following me.
Basic point: Don't worry about the slang, the more you try to control it, the more out of hand it gets. If you want it to end, just get lame, white, 40 year olds to start saying it in commercials.
Sorry this was hard to follow... it just sort of mutated this time...
Have a great weekend
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Drunken Pilots
So here I am, going about my day as usual, and let me tell you, it's been a weird day, but this is definitely the weirdest thing I've seen...
I'm perusing the news on Yahoo! and I come across a story that says that 2 America West pilots have been convicted of the charge of "Operating an aircraft while intoxicated". Let me ask a question, because I seem to have something confused.... If you're going to make passengers wait for up to 2 hours through security and virtually give them an anal probe, how are you going to let 2 drunk pilots into a cockpit? 2!! And apparently according to the story, they were quite obviously drunk, even getting into arguments before getting on the plane.
Now, I flew America West no more than a month ago, and I thought that it was a pretty good airline... now I have nothing to base that on, since it was my first flight, but I would guess that if I had this information prior to getting on the plane, I might have been a little more nervous about it.
I'm glad I didn't know.
It's 24 Hours when you call it a day, be Frank and say "I did it my way"
I'm perusing the news on Yahoo! and I come across a story that says that 2 America West pilots have been convicted of the charge of "Operating an aircraft while intoxicated". Let me ask a question, because I seem to have something confused.... If you're going to make passengers wait for up to 2 hours through security and virtually give them an anal probe, how are you going to let 2 drunk pilots into a cockpit? 2!! And apparently according to the story, they were quite obviously drunk, even getting into arguments before getting on the plane.
Now, I flew America West no more than a month ago, and I thought that it was a pretty good airline... now I have nothing to base that on, since it was my first flight, but I would guess that if I had this information prior to getting on the plane, I might have been a little more nervous about it.
I'm glad I didn't know.
It's 24 Hours when you call it a day, be Frank and say "I did it my way"
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Student Orientation
This morning I am sitting in on the Student orientation presentation in Shriver Center, so that I can help out the Mongoloids that don't know how to use a computer and a projector and I have a couple of things that have pissed me off already at 9:58 am.
I look at the incoming freshmen and I just shudder; both from joy and misery. The chicks are real easy to look at, as to be expected, but the guys couldn't look more douchey. I swear to God, 20% of the room, including some girls, had their damn collars in their upright and original positions. It's not a tray table, it's a damn collar. Put it down.
The computer that I'm using right now makes me want to vomit profusely. Whoever maintains the computers on the third floor of Shriver should be fired in a very rude way. There are 4 computers within eye-view and 3 of the 4 are in an unusable state, and the one that I'm using is riddled with spyware (and therefore, slow as shit).
Upon closer inspection I can see why this computer runs so poorly. The tower casing has so many scuff marks on it, you could mistake it for a gym floor at a catholic school. And if the evident kicking of it weren't enough, from the Miami Matrix logo on the case, it looks as though it may have been born in 1995. With it's speedy 8x cd burner and internal zip drive, here's to you "Way out of date and beat the hell up computer". Have an ice cold bud light and keep telling yourself "I just keep getting better with age".
Farewell from a computer that needs to be put out of it's misery
I look at the incoming freshmen and I just shudder; both from joy and misery. The chicks are real easy to look at, as to be expected, but the guys couldn't look more douchey. I swear to God, 20% of the room, including some girls, had their damn collars in their upright and original positions. It's not a tray table, it's a damn collar. Put it down.
The computer that I'm using right now makes me want to vomit profusely. Whoever maintains the computers on the third floor of Shriver should be fired in a very rude way. There are 4 computers within eye-view and 3 of the 4 are in an unusable state, and the one that I'm using is riddled with spyware (and therefore, slow as shit).
Upon closer inspection I can see why this computer runs so poorly. The tower casing has so many scuff marks on it, you could mistake it for a gym floor at a catholic school. And if the evident kicking of it weren't enough, from the Miami Matrix logo on the case, it looks as though it may have been born in 1995. With it's speedy 8x cd burner and internal zip drive, here's to you "Way out of date and beat the hell up computer". Have an ice cold bud light and keep telling yourself "I just keep getting better with age".
Farewell from a computer that needs to be put out of it's misery
Monday, June 06, 2005
A whole week
Wow, it's been a busy week for me. One whole week without a post.
So I started a new job last Tuesday. I was really excited about it because I was going to be doing work I liked and at the same time making a whole lot of money. Things don't always work out like you plan.
On my application I had written that my expected rate of pay was 11.00/hr., a fairly low pay rate for an experienced computer technician. The sign outside of the business said that it was hiring techs for 10.00/hr, so I figured, well, I should be able to convice them that I'm worth 11.00.... wrong. When I went for my first day of work on Tuesday, we still had not discussed the rate at which I was to be paid. As I was filling out my tax forms I brought it up, and the manager promptly informed me that the starting rate was 7.25/hr.... I was in shock.
After letting this set in for about 1/2 hour and trying not to blow a head gasket, I got a chance to talk to him alone and tried to convey the message that 7.25/hr is not what I signed up for and that I need to be paid more than that. He assured me that even HE doesn't make much more than 7.25 hour and that he would do all he could to try to get me more. So he calls up the owner and manages to get it raised to 7.50! Wow. Anyway, so I continue working the next few days, really sore about the ass raping that is taking place and feeling very deceived by these guys for advertising false information so that they could attract knowledgeable employees and then sandbag them.
So, on Thursday he busts out with the no-competition agreement, saying that I can't start my own business or be involved with any other similar business in any way. Pretty much saying that I can't work at Miami even. After thinking long and hard about it, I came to the conclusion that I would be much better off just going back to Miami full time, and starting a consulting business in the fall. I can charge 25 dollars/hr, and work on my own terms. Long story short, stay away from Xtend Computers, they are dishonest, and inefficient.
Anyone who needs computer help may email me or call me
I'm tired...
So I started a new job last Tuesday. I was really excited about it because I was going to be doing work I liked and at the same time making a whole lot of money. Things don't always work out like you plan.
On my application I had written that my expected rate of pay was 11.00/hr., a fairly low pay rate for an experienced computer technician. The sign outside of the business said that it was hiring techs for 10.00/hr, so I figured, well, I should be able to convice them that I'm worth 11.00.... wrong. When I went for my first day of work on Tuesday, we still had not discussed the rate at which I was to be paid. As I was filling out my tax forms I brought it up, and the manager promptly informed me that the starting rate was 7.25/hr.... I was in shock.
After letting this set in for about 1/2 hour and trying not to blow a head gasket, I got a chance to talk to him alone and tried to convey the message that 7.25/hr is not what I signed up for and that I need to be paid more than that. He assured me that even HE doesn't make much more than 7.25 hour and that he would do all he could to try to get me more. So he calls up the owner and manages to get it raised to 7.50! Wow. Anyway, so I continue working the next few days, really sore about the ass raping that is taking place and feeling very deceived by these guys for advertising false information so that they could attract knowledgeable employees and then sandbag them.
So, on Thursday he busts out with the no-competition agreement, saying that I can't start my own business or be involved with any other similar business in any way. Pretty much saying that I can't work at Miami even. After thinking long and hard about it, I came to the conclusion that I would be much better off just going back to Miami full time, and starting a consulting business in the fall. I can charge 25 dollars/hr, and work on my own terms. Long story short, stay away from Xtend Computers, they are dishonest, and inefficient.
Anyone who needs computer help may email me or call me
I'm tired...
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