Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Attacked by Christians!

I've just been attacked on the streets of Oxford!

I'm walking from Shriver over to the office which is home base for me, and all the sudden this girl who was pretty cute other than the herpe on her lip and the id in her pocket which probably would have said that I would be going to jail if I thought about it, came over to me and introduced herself.

I could tell right away this was something I didn't want be involved in

3 of her greasy (and I mean greasy, you could actually fry bacon on their foreheads) friends came over and asked me if they could give me a survey.... knowing that I was on the clock and really had nothing better to do I said sure.

She then asked me how many of the ten commandments I could name. I told her probably 8 of them. Shocking myself a bit, and them even more, I was able to name all 10 commandments. From the looks on their faces, you could tell that in their previous accostings of people, the general public probably averaged about 4-5.

They then asked me how many I could break and still get into heaven. I responded, well, I don't necessarily believe in a heaven the same as you do, and then the questions came...

Apparently, there's this guy name Jesus, and he loves me very much.... in a hetero way. I proceeded to question their beliefs, and actually ended up turning the brainwashing session AROUND! I started to tell them about how if you think for yourself, you don't need to have all the answers about Jesus, and the afterlife, but you're just satisfied with being, rather than always looking for the next thing.

They didn't really seem to understand on the whole, but that's to be expected. When you're indoctrinated into beliving that there is a omnipotent being watching and listening to everything you say, you're really careful about what you let into your head.

They asked me how many commandments I've broken, and I can honestly say I have broken 8, maybe 9 of them (depending on your interpretation). I was pretty proud... almost a perfect 10! Although it probably would be smart to not break that last one. Although now that I think about it.... I never have really created any graven images... I don't create much, except for what comes out the back end of me, and I'm not worshiping that.

So I'm 8 for 10: B-

It's still better than I do in school.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

WHICH ONES HAVE YOU BROKEN?

The Swindle said...

Tell me who this is and I might tell you.... :)

Anonymous said...

It's probably pretty easy to narrow down. I'm pretty sure he has never killed anyone... maybe more credit than he deserves, though. :)

Hey, I just posted a new comment RE: popped collars below... check out the link.