Student Orientation

This morning I am sitting in on the Student orientation presentation in Shriver Center, so that I can help out the Mongoloids that don't know how to use a computer and a projector and I have a couple of things that have pissed me off already at 9:58 am.

I look at the incoming freshmen and I just shudder; both from joy and misery. The chicks are real easy to look at, as to be expected, but the guys couldn't look more douchey. I swear to God, 20% of the room, including some girls, had their damn collars in their upright and original positions. It's not a tray table, it's a damn collar. Put it down.

The computer that I'm using right now makes me want to vomit profusely. Whoever maintains the computers on the third floor of Shriver should be fired in a very rude way. There are 4 computers within eye-view and 3 of the 4 are in an unusable state, and the one that I'm using is riddled with spyware (and therefore, slow as shit).

Upon closer inspection I can see why this computer runs so poorly. The tower casing has so many scuff marks on it, you could mistake it for a gym floor at a catholic school. And if the evident kicking of it weren't enough, from the Miami Matrix logo on the case, it looks as though it may have been born in 1995. With it's speedy 8x cd burner and internal zip drive, here's to you "Way out of date and beat the hell up computer". Have an ice cold bud light and keep telling yourself "I just keep getting better with age".


Farewell from a computer that needs to be put out of it's misery