Thursday, June 16, 2005

Obligatory post

This is exactly the kind of post I wanted to avoid when I started this thing....

But what are you going to do?

I have been thinking a lot lately about my direction in life, and how much it sucks. Throughout the past month or so, I have been given a lot of advice from the 3 most successful male influences in my life (my brother, my dad, and my girlfriend's dad) and some of it has really clicked with me. I guess over the course of the past 2 years or so, I've pretty much been waiting for life to come to me, waiting for something to happen that will propel me to where I want to be in this world. Because of that, I have been overall not myself, and not very happy.

I have learned a couple of lessons

1) It's better to make a wrong decision then not make a decision at all.
You would think that this would be a given, but the way that I've been living my life is such that, I have never made a decision about a direction I wanted to go, because I was afraid that I would later change my mind. As Paul told me: "When you choose something to do, do it to the best of your ability, until you find another direction that you want to go in; then, do that to the best of your ability. I don't really know that I've ever done anything to the best of my ability. Not even baseball... in high school I loved playing baseball, but outside of practice and leisurely games in the front yard, I never put in the extra time and totally committed myself. It's sort of a disappointing realization to come to.

2) Make your own choices, because no one is going to make a good one for you.
I was going to write that no one would make your choices for you, but I realized that there are a lot of people in this world that want to make your choices for you, they're just always bad choices.

I have to admit, after writing this down I feel slightly more depressed... that was pretty unexpected. But, that doesn't change the fact that when I go back to school in the fall, I am going to.... oh, screw it. You'll see it when it happens.


Hey kids rock n roll, rock on.

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