This is a real man.

BENTONVILLE, Ark. - For 40 exhausting minutes, Wayne Goldsberry battled a buck with his bare hands in his daughter's bedroom.

Goldsberry finally subdued the five-point whitetail deer that crashed through a bedroom window at his daughter's home Friday. When it was over, blood splattered the walls and the deer lay dead on the bedroom floor, its neck broken.
Goldsberry was at his daughter's home when he heard glass breaking. He went back to check on the noise and found the deer.
"I was standing about like this peeking around the corner when the deer came out of the bedroom," said Goldsberry. The deer ran down the hall and into the master bedroom — "jumping back and forth across the bed."
Goldsberry entered the bedroom to confront the deer and, after a brief struggle, emerged to tell his wife to call police. After returning to the bedroom, the fight continued. Goldsberry finally was able to grip the animal and twist its neck, killing it.
Goldsberry, sore from the struggle, dragged the dead animal out of the house.
"He got kicked several times. He was walking bowlegged for a while," Deputy Doug Gay said.
At this time of year, a buck that sees its reflection in a window often charges, believing it is fighting off a rival, Gay said.
Goldsberry intended to have the deer processed for its meat

Hillbilly fights a deer with his bare hands.... this guy is a pimp.

Toxic Thoughts

I thought about starting a personal journal just to write down my thoughts in, but then I thought about it and wondered to myself, what do I have a blog for if I'm not going to be honest and just write down whatever the hell I'm thinking?

I realized recently, that for whatever reason, I have been afraid of my own thoughts. The reasons for this could be many.

I think that it used to be that all my thoughts were well-meaning and had good intentions. That's not really the case anymore. I know that all of you are going to think I'm full of shit when I say this, but I really used to be comfortable telling everyone exactly how I feel. Now, I don't want to tell anyone. I guess everyone probably thinks of things that they are ashamed of, but being someone who has never been afraid to say anything before, it's sort of a new thing to me.

I also think it may be a result of the type of relationship that I'm in right now. It's nothing I've ever experienced before. We both go throughout our day pretending that nothing is wrong, never addressing any of the unhappiness that we're feeling, and the spiral continues...

Now don't get me wrong, the relationship is not all unhappiness, but the unhappiness that is there is not acknowledged or fixed at all, ever. I guess to a person just hearing this rant, it would appear that the relationship is pretty much over... I don't know. I've been making an effort to increase the communication, do random nice things, and in general be a better boyfriend as of late, but I think most of it goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

Keep in mind that this is just raw thoughts so I apologize for the lack of structure.

I should also add, that even though I am trying to be a better person as well as a better boyfriend, I don't always hit the mark. It's easy to allow yourself to get caught up in minor details and dwell on them.

So back to the reason why I hold my thoughts in... the relationship could be one reason, and me having toxic thoughts that are too terrible to talk about could be another.

An abbreviated list of everything I've ever done or thought that I'm ashamed of:

Stolen
Cheated
Gambled too much
Hurt someone I care about
Been apathetic
Failed at school
Bought an item I didn't need when I didn't have the money
Owed/Owe people money
Neglected a debt
Commit time to something insignificant and neglect priorities
Failed to support a loved one
Skipped work
Skipped class
Lied
Didn't fulfill my obligations as a friend/boyfriend/family member
Avoid talking about a death or going to a funeral to avoid bringing myself down
Played strip poker with my best friend's sister (Ok, that one is funny....)
Got punched by my best friend for the above (It was worth it)
Got in a fight
Thought that my opinion was the only one that mattered
Lusted for inappropriate girls
Spent my last $20 on a lap dance
Vandalized
Doing this instead of studying for my exam tomorrow
Forgot to do a homework assignment
Wondered what someone would give me in their inheritance if they died
Spit in someone's food
Tried to change someone in an effort to make them more compatible with me
Been lazy
Not living up to my potential
Allowing myself to get behind

Ok, those are the things I could think of off the top of my head. I must say, putting it in writing doesn't make these things right, but it certainly takes a little bit of the weight off of your chest.

So what have I learned? Well, starting today I am going to use this outlet as a way to put into writing what I truly am thinking. You can see what kind of sick individual I really am. I might be just be what everyone else can't admit to being, but I don't care. I am who I am, and I suggest that if you can't handle it, then don't read this journal and don't be around me any more.

Salut

These keep getting fewer and further between

I'm busy... sorry. I haven't have much of a chance to write recently because of how ridiculous everything is with school, work and my business as well as my all important goofing off time (video games, football, intramurals, etc) Anyway, I found this on the net and thought that it was worthy of being on here. It's not original from me, but it was amusing enough for me to post it here. Enjoy!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Pass this on to that special lady in your life.

-S to the Ewe ewe Windy

Back at Skool

So here I am back at Miami for another go-around. I don't quite know what to expect yet, because it seems that I usually start the semester off in relatively the same fashion... keep on top of things for 2 weeks and then get dreadfully and hopelessly behind.

But this semester... we'll see.

I don't want to make any predictions because honestly, my word doesn't mean anything anymore. I always say that I'm going to do something and then never follow through, so I'll save everyone the roller coaster ride.

My classes this semester are:

Management Information Systems 235 - The beginning of my minor in MIS... this class is basically just going to be details about Excel and Access... I'm looking forward to learning SQL and refining my database building though...

Sociology 262 - This was the one I was really worried about. The class title is Research Methods and I've been told on more than one occasion that it is a very difficult and demanding course. So far I am keeping up, and it seems to be material that I feel at home with learning. I am confident.

Philosophy 211 - Problems with God and Religion. For anyone who's never taken a Philosophy course, if you've had one philosophy professor, you've had them all. They use so much logic that it becomes illogical, and in the end you only find out what you already suspected to be so.

Intermediate Tennis - So far I really like this course.. I haven't played seriously since 8th grade, but my backhand needs work... right now it's more like a left-handed home run.

Anthropology 175 - Peoples of the world.. this seems like a really interesting class, and a really interesting teacher. He did field research in Russia just after the cold war ended, and anyone who knows me, knows my inexplicable facination with Russia. I contributed a lot to class last week, so I think my teacher likes me.

I'm also working at Miami about 20 hours a week for CASIT and the CAS computer labs...

As far as school is concerned I feel on top of everything, but it seems that my financial situation, personal life, and other outside forces are all a mess... you can't win em all I guess.

Argh Matey

WAR!

I have an idea for deciding whether or not to go to war.

Now I know that most of you out there hate a worldwide approach to things. Diversity is good right? Well, we're going to suspend that logic for this topic and open up to my "Next Man in Line" plan.

As I stated in one of my earlier posts, the president should be picked by a Jeopardy tournament of Champions. Well, this should apply worldwide (although you have to be a citizen of the country in which you are playing).

So all the leaders of the world are also the smartest men and women in the world. Alright, got that taken care of. Now I belive that if this were the case, then we probably wouldn't have to worry about war at all anyway, since they're so smart, they can find alternatives to fighting to work out their differences. (of course, unless there's a mad scientist among the group with illusions of world domination, then my whole theory backfires) UNTIL the "Next man in Line" plan goes into effect.

I had to rack my brain about this for a long time to figure out how this would work out.

Should 2 nations decide that there is no other alternative then to go to war over something, then the dispute will be settled over a no-holds barred bare-knuckle deathmatch a la Gladiator between the two presidents. If it's important enough to fight and die for, then it's important enough for the president to fight and die for. The winner will reign supreme... until the vice president from the other country decides whether or not the issue is still worth fighting over. If they both agree again that it is still worth fighting over, then the battle shall reign on!

Now I realize that at this point the guy who won the first bout may be a little out of breath and at a slight disadvantage. Well, I'm all for fair fighting, and I'm not a total asshole, so I think that the winning president shall get a 15 minute break between fights, as well as the added benefit of knife for his next fight. Sort of a bloodlust prize. If both the combatants should still feel lucky and feel that the cause is still important, then the battle rages on!

You can see where this is going. Eventually, about 20 or so guys down the line, someone is going to wise up and say: "Hey, how about we go back to the table and start peace talks again?" They'll eventually work it out, and with only about 20 casualties from each country, we will have the fewest casualties in any active combat situation the world has ever seen. As an added bonus, we will now have people in a position of power who have the capacity to use it with dignity and responsibility, rather than carelessness and thoughtlessness.


Make sure that if you send people to die for something, you'd die for it as well.

Rude People - skip unless you're REALLY bored.

So I come into a computer lab today, as I do on most days, and as I walk through the door, I hesitate to look to my left... why? Because I know that someone over there is glaring at me viciously. Now, I'm all for being unfriendly, minding your own business, things like that. But to hate someone you don't even know as vehemotly as this girl obviously hates me is absolutely ridiculous.

Hate is an odd thing. Everyone hates, and everyone hates for different reasons. Since everyone does it, is it ok?

Some people hate because of heartbreak, some hate because someone has wronged them. But what about the people that hate because of appearances or becuase of beliefs? Is their hate any less justified than other hate? All hate only prolongs the circle of hate and is anti-progress, so why is some hate justifiable.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that we should be shiny happy people. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you and I are no better than any other human being. We're all ignorant, we all stereotype (and are stereotypical) and we all hate.

Try to be a decent human being today.

The Presidency

Well, the debate about the Supreme Court nominee Judge Roberts is heating up, so I figured that I should talk about politics.

This is my idea on how to elect the next president, and every president thereafter. Personally, I am not a big fan of politics. As a matter of fact, you could say that I hate politics and everything about it. From the crooked campaign finances to the false promises, to the symbolic act of voting, the whole thing makes me physically sick when someone tries to rope me into a political conversation.

So, here's my plan...

Enough with all this campaigning, the voting, and the electoral college. What this country needs is a Presidential Jeopardy Tournament of Champions.

Basically, it works out like this. Everyone can try out, but only say that top 500 make it onto the show. You run the show on tv for four years, and at the end of those 4 years, on election night, you have arguably the three smartest people in the country, playing Jeopardy in a vie for the presidency.

I don't see how this could possibly backfire. We would be sure to have a leader that would be educated, passionate (in order to learn all that stuff, you'd have to be), and hardworking. Notice that I didn't mention things like loyal, honest, open-minded. We're picking from our own flock here, so let's be realistic about the qualities our society embodies.

And if you're worried that some of the smartest people in our country are and always have been serial killers, maniacs with fantasies of world domination, and Mormons, don't worry, because I have another plan. An amendment to the Constitution which states:

If a 2/3 majority of Americans agree on a referendum ballot that the president is not performing his/her job to expectations, the president shall be taken into town square, shot in the head, and the person who placed second in the tournament shall take his place. (same rule also applies if the president dies of his own volition)

So that's my plan... Hey, I wouldn't mind having 2 wives...*Homer*: Chop, chop, dig, dig..

Ken Jennings in '08

Welcome to the neighborhood

I have figured out that I got a little pissed off about once a week. At least, pissed off enough so I come on here and give you guys the 411. lol@myself.corn

There was a new reality show for ABC set to premiere in 2 weeks in which several non-white families and families with odd lifestyles, were competing to move into a white suburban neighborhood with the white neighbors "voting" them out each week.

You can see the link to the story here

What happened as is what is prototypical in this country as of late, the idiotic left-wing liberals got ahold of the show and protested it with the GLBT community. *Rush Limbaugh voice* My friends.... there is nothing worse than censorship. The only thing worse than conservative censorship (where I'm not allowed to see boobies) is liberal censorship (where I'm not allowed to hear the word "lesbo" on the E channel)

The liberal censorship applies to other channels as well. MTV, when they show a music video (2am) will bleep the word nigger, as said by black rappers. (Anyone who says there's a difference between nigger and nigga are really just splitting hairs and only fooling themselves by the way). fag, faggot, lesbo, donkey punch, petting zoo.... PETTING ZOO! Yes, it was actually bleeped on E. Reasoning? Petting zoos are cruel to animals.

This whole thing makes me want to do something drastic..... like take a big dump on the front steps of Viacom. Yes, I know that E! is not Viacom, but MTV is and they're just as bad...

So here are my suggestions for a new reality show: You move a white family, black family, hispanic entourage, arab family, and a couple of fruits into the same neighborhood, in close proximity, and just watch as they eliminate each other and themselves from the neighborhood. No voting, just real emotions and real interacial, interreligious and inter-homo/hetero hatred. Voting is overrated. We do it twice a year and act like it actually means something, and that's hard enough to make ourselves believe, but now we have to deal with this democratic process in every facet of society? I have to see it on my tv, and hear about it from some jerkoff who has nothing better to do than to watch "Dancing with the has-beens and never were's?"

I'm not blaming the broadcasters or even the developers of those shows for this one... at some point you have to take a look at society and realize... we have a countr... make that a WORLD full of fucking morons.


Go out and be the best moron you can be.

Attacked by Christians!

I've just been attacked on the streets of Oxford!

I'm walking from Shriver over to the office which is home base for me, and all the sudden this girl who was pretty cute other than the herpe on her lip and the id in her pocket which probably would have said that I would be going to jail if I thought about it, came over to me and introduced herself.

I could tell right away this was something I didn't want be involved in

3 of her greasy (and I mean greasy, you could actually fry bacon on their foreheads) friends came over and asked me if they could give me a survey.... knowing that I was on the clock and really had nothing better to do I said sure.

She then asked me how many of the ten commandments I could name. I told her probably 8 of them. Shocking myself a bit, and them even more, I was able to name all 10 commandments. From the looks on their faces, you could tell that in their previous accostings of people, the general public probably averaged about 4-5.

They then asked me how many I could break and still get into heaven. I responded, well, I don't necessarily believe in a heaven the same as you do, and then the questions came...

Apparently, there's this guy name Jesus, and he loves me very much.... in a hetero way. I proceeded to question their beliefs, and actually ended up turning the brainwashing session AROUND! I started to tell them about how if you think for yourself, you don't need to have all the answers about Jesus, and the afterlife, but you're just satisfied with being, rather than always looking for the next thing.

They didn't really seem to understand on the whole, but that's to be expected. When you're indoctrinated into beliving that there is a omnipotent being watching and listening to everything you say, you're really careful about what you let into your head.

They asked me how many commandments I've broken, and I can honestly say I have broken 8, maybe 9 of them (depending on your interpretation). I was pretty proud... almost a perfect 10! Although it probably would be smart to not break that last one. Although now that I think about it.... I never have really created any graven images... I don't create much, except for what comes out the back end of me, and I'm not worshiping that.

So I'm 8 for 10: B-

It's still better than I do in school.

Twenty-two

Here on the eve of my twenty-second birthday I sit and ponder the years that have gone by. I think about the good decisions and situations, and then sometimes wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?"

Good decisions:

1) Returning to Miami - after a jaunt over to Youngstown State and Kent Ashtabula, I decided that Miami would be for me what I would make of it, and this time I was going to make it good.

2) ....

The problem with good decisions, is that most good decisions go unnoticed. The bad ones are much easier to spot.

Bad decisions:

1) Too much consideration for girls - Throughout my life, I have been haunted by mistakes that I have made when dealing with the fairer sex. I don't know why I do the things I do/did for girls, but I never really seem to learn.

2) The two-week engagement - Obviously the biggest mistake of my life. Terribly embarrassing, but all in all, I came out of it smelling pretty good, considering what could have happened.

3) Trying to take an on-ramp at 80 in the rain the night before I left for Miami - Broke my Ballsman Buick, and although Kurt and I both put lots of time and energy into it, it was never the same. We got it running again for about a day or two, and then it died for good.

4) Not putting enough effort into school - This one has hurt me in more ways than I can count. Not too much to say about it, other than I'm trying to learn from my mistakes.


I realize that this is a boring post, so I'm going to post another one after this. Most people may not understand most of the references in the next one, so to you people I will say, check back some other time.

Thanks

Obligatory post

This is exactly the kind of post I wanted to avoid when I started this thing....

But what are you going to do?

I have been thinking a lot lately about my direction in life, and how much it sucks. Throughout the past month or so, I have been given a lot of advice from the 3 most successful male influences in my life (my brother, my dad, and my girlfriend's dad) and some of it has really clicked with me. I guess over the course of the past 2 years or so, I've pretty much been waiting for life to come to me, waiting for something to happen that will propel me to where I want to be in this world. Because of that, I have been overall not myself, and not very happy.

I have learned a couple of lessons

1) It's better to make a wrong decision then not make a decision at all.
You would think that this would be a given, but the way that I've been living my life is such that, I have never made a decision about a direction I wanted to go, because I was afraid that I would later change my mind. As Paul told me: "When you choose something to do, do it to the best of your ability, until you find another direction that you want to go in; then, do that to the best of your ability. I don't really know that I've ever done anything to the best of my ability. Not even baseball... in high school I loved playing baseball, but outside of practice and leisurely games in the front yard, I never put in the extra time and totally committed myself. It's sort of a disappointing realization to come to.

2) Make your own choices, because no one is going to make a good one for you.
I was going to write that no one would make your choices for you, but I realized that there are a lot of people in this world that want to make your choices for you, they're just always bad choices.

I have to admit, after writing this down I feel slightly more depressed... that was pretty unexpected. But, that doesn't change the fact that when I go back to school in the fall, I am going to.... oh, screw it. You'll see it when it happens.


Hey kids rock n roll, rock on.

Disgusting!

On my way walking across campus today, I got a wet feeling in my mouth. My salivary glands were producing more spit than I could use at that particular moment in time. I have to confess, I did something repulsive. I did something so repugnant and foul that I should be castrated by a rusty fender from a '79 ElDorado....

I spit on the ground.

People make me sick. The other day I saw some bitch look at a spot on the ground where someone had spit and say: "EWWw, that's disgusting!" She actually went to the trouble to acknowledge a wet mark on the ground (by the way it had also RAINED that day).

Sometimes you want to hit people in the head with your massive penis, and say: "Hey slut, does your shit not stink? Quit whining!" Maybe these people need a little reminder that every day or so they dump about 3 lbs of solid human waste out of themselves and eventually that ends up "on the ground". I don't know about you, but shit and piss ranks a little higher than spit on my scale of grossness.

Animals crap all over the ground! This is probably the same person who won't clean up her dog's feces because she thinks it's gross... oh yeah? Well your yard smells like a freaking port-o-john. Get over yourself and stop trying to act as though everyone else is disgusting and you're just some delicate flower.

These are the people that are slipping through the cracks of natural selection with all this intervention from the government. Nature should have killed everone like this off a long time before they could even articulate the word "gross", but with us meddling in everything and playing God all the time, she gets to live at the expense of the rest of us.

He's not really suggesting that she die because she doesn't like spit is he?? YES HE IS.

Gravitas.

ha... FAG!

While in the process of dropping a deuce in a bathroom down the hall from where I am working, I noticed that there is a written arguement taking place on the walls of the stall. What was this arguement about do you ask? Well, according to the archaelogical evidence left on the walls, it would seem that frat guys are gay. It also seems that homosexual men DO after all use the same bathroom as the rest of us, and think that we are all homophobes. Now of course, I infer that "we" means the people calling other people gay on the bathroom walls.

This all got me to thinking of course.

There are often people that argue that you should not use the adjective "gay" figuratively to refer to something that isn't homosexual, but rather stupid. Now, as someone who in the past and currently refer to stupid things as "REALLY GAY", I may have a biased outlook on the subject, but believe me, before I tackle an issue I always try to see the other side of the coin.

The arguement is, that if you refer to something (or someone) who is stupid, inefficient, or just simply not right as gay; then by saying that, you are saying that gay = stupid, etc. I have to call this logic into question. Just becuase you are using an adjective in a different way than it is meant to be used, it doesn't mean that you are a homophobe.... it just means that you're black and you are on the cutting edge of slang. "Tight" never felt so right before it was used to describe something cool... lol (I really did just laugh at myself). Listen, people take certain liberties with this English language that we speak, and one of the great things about the language is that no matter what was grammatically correct 2 minutes ago, now "hizzy" is a viable noun used to describe ones domicile... and we all understand that.

As a matter of fact, speaking of grammatically correct, this rant is an English teacher's nightmare. This has more run-on sentences than Courtney Love at a custody hearing while on barbituates..... maybe not that much.

I lose focus easily

Here is my arguement, which completely negates EVERY other argument. When people call someone gay, or refer to something as gay, they are not trying to insult gay people. They are trying to insult the person they are talking to. Gay people (and straight people for that matter) that get offended by someone's choice of words, need to stop being so self-involved and self-centered and realize that not everything that is said by everyone pertains to you specifically.

If I was to call someone gay, it would be someone who has a severe insecurity about their sexuality, and it would be a great insult in that case then, wouldn't it? When you're insulting someone you want to call them a name that THEY would take the most offense to personally. Now, i don't have a problem with gay people, gay people don't have a problem with gay people, the only person that does have a problem is the person I just tried to insult. It a hard point to convey, but I hope you're following me.

Basic point: Don't worry about the slang, the more you try to control it, the more out of hand it gets. If you want it to end, just get lame, white, 40 year olds to start saying it in commercials.

Sorry this was hard to follow... it just sort of mutated this time...



Have a great weekend

Drunken Pilots

So here I am, going about my day as usual, and let me tell you, it's been a weird day, but this is definitely the weirdest thing I've seen...

I'm perusing the news on Yahoo! and I come across a story that says that 2 America West pilots have been convicted of the charge of "Operating an aircraft while intoxicated". Let me ask a question, because I seem to have something confused.... If you're going to make passengers wait for up to 2 hours through security and virtually give them an anal probe, how are you going to let 2 drunk pilots into a cockpit? 2!! And apparently according to the story, they were quite obviously drunk, even getting into arguments before getting on the plane.

Now, I flew America West no more than a month ago, and I thought that it was a pretty good airline... now I have nothing to base that on, since it was my first flight, but I would guess that if I had this information prior to getting on the plane, I might have been a little more nervous about it.

I'm glad I didn't know.

It's 24 Hours when you call it a day, be Frank and say "I did it my way"

Student Orientation

This morning I am sitting in on the Student orientation presentation in Shriver Center, so that I can help out the Mongoloids that don't know how to use a computer and a projector and I have a couple of things that have pissed me off already at 9:58 am.

I look at the incoming freshmen and I just shudder; both from joy and misery. The chicks are real easy to look at, as to be expected, but the guys couldn't look more douchey. I swear to God, 20% of the room, including some girls, had their damn collars in their upright and original positions. It's not a tray table, it's a damn collar. Put it down.

The computer that I'm using right now makes me want to vomit profusely. Whoever maintains the computers on the third floor of Shriver should be fired in a very rude way. There are 4 computers within eye-view and 3 of the 4 are in an unusable state, and the one that I'm using is riddled with spyware (and therefore, slow as shit).

Upon closer inspection I can see why this computer runs so poorly. The tower casing has so many scuff marks on it, you could mistake it for a gym floor at a catholic school. And if the evident kicking of it weren't enough, from the Miami Matrix logo on the case, it looks as though it may have been born in 1995. With it's speedy 8x cd burner and internal zip drive, here's to you "Way out of date and beat the hell up computer". Have an ice cold bud light and keep telling yourself "I just keep getting better with age".


Farewell from a computer that needs to be put out of it's misery

A whole week

Wow, it's been a busy week for me. One whole week without a post.

So I started a new job last Tuesday. I was really excited about it because I was going to be doing work I liked and at the same time making a whole lot of money. Things don't always work out like you plan.

On my application I had written that my expected rate of pay was 11.00/hr., a fairly low pay rate for an experienced computer technician. The sign outside of the business said that it was hiring techs for 10.00/hr, so I figured, well, I should be able to convice them that I'm worth 11.00.... wrong. When I went for my first day of work on Tuesday, we still had not discussed the rate at which I was to be paid. As I was filling out my tax forms I brought it up, and the manager promptly informed me that the starting rate was 7.25/hr.... I was in shock.

After letting this set in for about 1/2 hour and trying not to blow a head gasket, I got a chance to talk to him alone and tried to convey the message that 7.25/hr is not what I signed up for and that I need to be paid more than that. He assured me that even HE doesn't make much more than 7.25 hour and that he would do all he could to try to get me more. So he calls up the owner and manages to get it raised to 7.50! Wow. Anyway, so I continue working the next few days, really sore about the ass raping that is taking place and feeling very deceived by these guys for advertising false information so that they could attract knowledgeable employees and then sandbag them.

So, on Thursday he busts out with the no-competition agreement, saying that I can't start my own business or be involved with any other similar business in any way. Pretty much saying that I can't work at Miami even. After thinking long and hard about it, I came to the conclusion that I would be much better off just going back to Miami full time, and starting a consulting business in the fall. I can charge 25 dollars/hr, and work on my own terms. Long story short, stay away from Xtend Computers, they are dishonest, and inefficient.

Anyone who needs computer help may email me or call me

I'm tired...

Buckle This!

So, I'm on my way back from a pleasant 2 days up at Anna's house in Columbus... and on the way home we start realizing that every freaking text scroll sign on the side of the freeway is telling us to "Click it or ticket". Now, as usual Anna and I were already carrying on a conversation about things we hate about society, and so that's where this comes in.

I wonder, how many MILLIONS of dollars the federal government has spent on radio, tv, signs, and increased highway patrol to try to get some idiot who has no concept of self-preservation to put on his damn seat belt. Now, I am an avid believer in natural selection (as some of you may know), and I just can't believe that this is a valuable use of our tax dollars. How about giving up on these idiots who aren't wearing seatbelts and fund the damn schools to teach their children how to grow up and NOT be like their parents? Sound like a plan? Anyway, the whole concept of passing more safety laws is personally disgusting to me. People should be able to deal with the responsibility of keeping themselves alive, and if they can't handle that small responsibility? Well, then maybe they really shouldn't have us keeping them from their destiny.


Remember those who fell for my right to print this today.

Another consumer report...

Back to what I do best...

Who falls for these text message scams that are currently being advertised on tv, radio and anywhere that there's a hard surface to write on? There's all kinds of em too! And I wonder how they get away with it...

1) Ringtones and wallpapers

Alright, do you really think that anyone is going to put up money to advertise on tv so that they can GIVE you FREE ringtones? Are you mildly retarded? I don't care how much you want "Goodies" to be your ringtone, it's not worth the $5.00 a month that all these services are going to charge to your phone bill without your "permission". Just do a little research with these new inventions they call "a computer" and "the internet" and you can find out how to get any damn ringtone you want for free.


2) Text message skanks

So you want to pay $1.99 for each sent or received text message from Jenna Jameson eh? As little faith as I have in humanity, even I am shocked that there is a demand for this. These are ALL over the place now. They always try to be real cute too, like you're not signing up for a dirty message service, but instead a "flirting service". Just text "FLIRT" to 66666! They have ads in the back of FHM that look just like the phone sex ads in the back of Hustler... so I'm told. Anyway, what the hell makes you think that the humanoid text messaging you is going to look anything like the girls in the advertisements? I can tell you right now what the person on the other end is going to look like... slowly walk into the bathroom, look in the mirror. Whatever you see, that's similar to how the person on the other end is going to look... late 20's, overweight and most likely sporting a penis.


and my favorite
3) text message popularity

For those of you who don't know... you can now pay a nominal fee so that someone will text you and pretend to be your friend, thus making you appear to be popular and well-liked. Nothing could be further than the truth. The people that enroll in this service could quite possibly be the only people on earth more lonely and pathetic than the ones that get the sex messages. Now I know what you're saying... there's a direct overlap! Yeah, maybe a little... but this is a completely different clientele than the Text Johns. The purveyors of text hookery are perverts just like you or I, but taken to an extreme. They are slightly less attractive than us, shy, and don't talk to girls all that well, so they turn to porn, cybersex, phone sex, and eventually text sex. Oh no no no... the popularity text messenger is a different beast all together. This guy is a complete sociopath. The kind of guy that if you heard he killed a family of four and had sex with their dog, you wouldn't really be surprised. This guy is so desperate to prove to those around him that he is well liked, he'll be fielding 20 texts every 1/2 hour for the whole 4 hours he works at McDonald's each day.


It's hard to create a heirarchy of losers and distinguish which participants of these services are the dumbest... but I think I have it figured out...

The ringtone texters and by far the dumbest and are currently disappointing their families

The sex texters are gullible, but not dumb. They will obtain their degree in Information Technology from the DeVry Institute and go on to a life of loneliness

and at last the Popularity texters are maniacal sociopaths and will be seen in the 8-10 block on Fox Saturdays in the very near future.


If you are in any of these groups, I feel terribly sorry for you. I also really hope that you don't know where I live.


Til next time...

Sick today...and gambling.

Well, today I woke up and I was sick... I was in the bathroom for about 25% of the day today. I think I lost about 10 pounds of crap that was lingering in my lower large intestine. As a matter of fact, after I finish this post I am going to go again. On the good side though, I definitely caught up on my sleep today as a result of not going into work. I don't want to turn this into a journal though so I need to come up with some useful information to tell you.

To all of those who don't know I went to Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago. Let me tell anyone who's never been, just burn your money, it'll accomplish the same feat quicker and more efficiently. I must say, it was quite a bit of fun, but if you're expecting to go to Vegas and not get caught up and lose all (or almost all) of your money then you are sorely mistaken. They don't pay the light bill by letting people walk home with their money.

On a related note, the lines for the first week of the NFL football season came out today, so degenerates, start your engines! Of course, this does apply to me to a small extent, as I will be sure to put up at least 100 bucks over the course of the season. I mean, c'mon it's 4 months away... anyone putting up a bet at this point is either a) getting tips from the other side or b) just plain stupid. So much can happen in between now and August. Injuries, holdouts, and Butch Davis can happen to any team, save your money until the week of, ok guys?

Take it easy

2nd post today...

Right now I am sitting in the dank basement of one of the buildings at Miami, waiting for Windows System Pack 2 to install on a computer. For those of you who don't know me, this is pretty much my job. Sit around and wait for computers to get done doing what I'm telling them to do. Normally I would be on Yahoo! playing Spades right now, or my other favorite online game "TyperShark", but I decided that there have been a lot of things that I haven't burned on lately on here, and I should bring you up to speed.

I fixed my internet. Time-warner still sucks, but now I can be mad at a faulty cable wire instead of them. By the way, the cable wire was cut and installed by them.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith kicks ass. Probably the 3rd best Star Wars movie made, and that's saying that it beat one of the originals... which one I don't know... it's a tough one.

I start my job at Xtend computers on Tuesday which will mean that I will be working 3 jobs. Thank God the hours there overlap with Miami though so that I can work 60 hours a week instead of 80.

Facebook pisses me off.

There are few things that are more relaxing than rubbin' one out and droppin' a deuce consecutively (or in tandem).

That's all for now... everything else is saved for another day.


Deuces

Sales pitch for the Ultimate Fighter Season 2

For those of you who don't really know anything about the UFC, I have a question for you: Have you been living under a rock?? Anyway, this past spring there was a reality show on Spike TV called the ultimate fighter in which 12 of the top mixed-martial arts competitors went head to head weekly until there was finally only one in each weight class.

Mixed martial arts is a relatively new concept in which fighters from all different backgrounds and disciplines compete against one another. Jiu-Jitsu, Muai Thai, Freestyle Wrestling, Boxing, Karate, and straight up bar-room brawling all compete to try to knock each other out or force the other guy to submit using joint manipulation or choke holds.

If you haven't seen it, you need to. It is rising quickly in the world of sports and will soon (mark my words) be more popular than boxing. This sport could even destroy boxing as we know it in the US and totally replace it altogether.

Anyway, check it out this fall on Spike Tv. If they keep the same timeslot you can see it at 11:05 on Mondays, but that is still to be seen. Check your local listings. And for those of you who are interested in being on the show, taping will start in June, and they are having a casting call in New York City at the Renzo Gracie school of Jiu-jitsu soon. Go to ultimatefighter.tv to find out more and sign up.

If you watch one and you're not hooked, you may want to seriously reconsider your sexual preference.

arrivederci

Scopes Monkey Trial... best name ever.

It amazes me sometimes how many people have their head up their ass sometimes.

Courts all over the country right now are debating the validity of evolutionary theory. How are we still on this? No doubt that much more research needs to be done in this field, because as all great scientists know, you can't have TOO MUCH evidence for any theory. Have you ever wondered why there are so few scientific laws? The reason is because in order to make something a law it has to be proven by evidence under any circumstance. Now, if you're talking about an apple falling from a tree, whether it's here on earth or on the moon, you can witness laws of gravity taking place to one degree or another. The experiment is short and can be repeated rapidly. Evolution on the other hand takes millions of years and thus is much harder to repeat and thus prove.

But nonetheless it is widely accepted by most reasonable people.

But there are some doubters. Now listen, I'm all for questioning the status quo, but if you're going to question a scientific theory, you better have some better alternative than a religious belief. Saying that evolution should not be taught in schools, while in the same breath saying that creationism should is like saying that "all these methods of preserving food are overrated; it was much better when we were all dying from food-borne illness". That's a real sound fundamentalist judgement. These are the same people who are against researching space and against stem-cell research. They want everything to stay the same. Until they get paralyzed and go to the doctor. Then they want ACTION! I would love to see all these freaking bastards who are against stem cell research to come down with an acute case of Parkinson's, or fall off a horse and paralyze themselves.

Way off the subject.

Anyway, the fact that this is even getting court time 80 years after the first time it was defended in court should be indicative of the way this country, and world is going. I hate to be a pessimist, and even more I hate to be dramatic, but to all those thinkers, to all those scientists, pack it in because we're all going away. Human kind is not long for this world. Relatively speaking of course...

But don't worry, some other species will rise up and become the domineers of the planet, and eventually go through the same ordeal. If you want an accurate representation of how everything in the world works just read a greek tragedy. 5 acts: Act 1(Introduction) - Evolution into homo sapien, Act 2(buildup) Man learns to build & use tools, Act 3(Conflict) Invention of religion, Act 4(buildup to climax) Wars rage over religion, Act 5(climax) Wars all but wipe out species.

We'll be gone, but don't be sad, it probably won't happen in our lifetime. It happens to every living being from plants to mammals to the stars themselves... they all get 5 acts in this universe.

Mahalo

Post #2

I couldn't think of any better title than post #2 for this... this time I have some consumer info to share with all of you. FUCK Time-Warner cable. It sucks my balls. These idiotic bastards screw people for all they're worth and then don't provide the service that they claim to.

Their customer service is awful, you're lucky if you even get to talk to someone.

I had digital cable last year with a DVR, and I was lucky if the DVR worked for 3 solid months out of 9.

And now of course the Roadrunner service. The Roadrunner is so terrible at this point that it's almost not even worth getting on the computer. Dial-up service is more reliable. When it works at all, it works very slowly, and that's only about 25% of the time.

Ok, enough of that, you get the point. As well as providing you with useful information to improve your lives, I also am doing this to tell you about myself. I don't really know why I am because I'm sort of a private person, but I'll give it a shot.

I started running again today. I looked at myself in the mirror last night and was disgusted with the amount of fat on my body. I never used to be this bad out of shape. Oh well, it really doesn't take me that long to get back into shape so I should be fine. Without clocking it off with an odometer I would say that I ran about 2 miles. I feel good. I was running at the beginning of May, everyday for about 2 1/2 weeks but I just sort of quit. At that point I was up to 3 miles, but today I ran at a quick and steady pace the entire distance, so I feel pretty good about it. Well, this is running a little long so I guess I'll cut and run. I have to go to Outback in about 3 hours *ugh* Bye to all, and may the forces of evil become confused and lost on the way to your domicile.

First Post

Well, here it is, my first post on my blog. I really wonder who has time to read these things. To me, it would be cool if someone reads my thoughts on a daily basis, but I'm not counting on it. I'm sure that I won't even be able to get my girlfriend to read this on a daily (or maybe even weekly) basis. She certainly wouldn't sit still to listen to me blather on if we were having a verbal conversation, so I don't see why she (or anyone else) would read this. Mainly it's for me, just a way of writing down my thoughts and feelings. It's sorta like a gay-ass journal, but even worse, because it's on the internet it's a dorky, gay-ass journal. Anyway, if anyone actually reads this, feel free to comment, enjoy yourself, and welcome to the gay-ass dork club!